PHP Anthem

05 Aug 2010

Yesterday on IRC, Andrei Zmievski mentioned a new song about PHP. Sean Coates linked to a YouTube video with the song, which I then mentioned on Twitter:

PHP finally has an anthem. This is what we’ve been lacking. http://j.mp/PHPanthem /via @coates

If you haven't listened yet, take a moment to do so. There are a few options:

The song is by Lee Fernandes, who goes by @reelfernandes on Twitter. I couldn't find the lyrics online, so I created a new document on TypeWith.me to solicit help. To my delight, prompted by Sean's request, Lee joined and helped us out. :-)

TypeWith.me is made with EtherPad software. Lee thinks it's excellent. If you're sad about yesterday's news about Wave, you should give it a try.

The complete lyrics are below, with some links to add context. Enjoy! :-)

Oh yeah. (Oh yeah.)
(Just one day it just hits you all of a sudden. It's just like...)

Oh yeah, I'm so PHP this year.
Got a mic in the left, and 'n the right, cold beer.
Compile that Apache.
Now we got version 5 and two chicks laid out in the back seat.
Yeah, sometimes the code looks a little trashy.
But, this ain't ColdFusion.
Stop talking sassy, and pull up them panties.

I'm really... I'm just saying; why don't you go check out the API reference docs.
They're really good.
(They are.)

Is it underline or CamelCase?
I can't remember; I've been busy poundin' cakes.
It's what PHP developers do.
We get more booty than you.
Don't be jealous when you smell us; check the Boolean dude, it reads...

[chorus]
(Oh yeah.)
Check the Boolean dude; it reads true.
(Oh yeah.)
PHP gets more booty than you.
(Oh yeah.)
Check the Boolean dude; it reads true.
(Oh yeah.)
PHP gets more booty than you.
(Oh yeah.)
Check the Boolean dude; it reads...

True, PHP gets more booty than you,
but we still keep it clean.
MySQL really real wrappin' all strings.
Filter input like it was a herpes strain.
(You know what I'm saying?)
That's why we got the STD class.
Objects we pass might need to be trashed.
Girl, what you doin'?

Come gunzip this.
Be my witness as I strip this string of all slashes.
Now, I got what I need.
No traversing my filesystem when you ain't supposed to be.
That's how it is rolling with PHP.
All the hot chicks, yeah, they love PHP.
(It's so true.)
(Oh yeah, that's what I'm talking about.)

[chorus]

(Yo, yo, tell 'em about it.)

PHP: Hypertext Preprocessor.
It's real out here.
Somebody better call the mod_security officer.
My concern is for those weak half-assed scripting languages.
The ones that can't hang with us.
It's strange, but they get hanged and remain in dust.
Some aren't quite dead and still remain a pain to us.

PHP's got more muscle.
In a nutshell, nothing's quite like it.

Predicted by the ancient cultures and the psychics.
The ones who dreamt in recursive states.
Whispering premonitions of open source community gates.
PHP.

(Oh yeah...)

[chorus]

If you're curious to learn more, you're in luck. Sean and Paul Reinheimer will be interviewing Lee for a future episode of Pique Web, their new podcast on PHP and related web technologies.

Oh yeah!